Living with a Roommate and Conflict Management

Roommate Agreement

Download the 2012-2013 agreement for double rooms or triple rooms.

A roommate agreement identifies issues that often arise among roommates and outlines specific understandings for living together. The agreement also helps you determine how you plan to resolve these issues. It is a useful tool that will help you get to know your roommate better and to establish mutual expectations. The agreement promotes communication, assertiveness and compromise, all of which are essential to successful roommate relationships. It is important to be very detailed when discussing the roommate agreement topics and document the discussion accurately for all parties involved.

You are expected to complete the roommate agreement with your roommate(s) or suitemate(s) within the first few weeks of the semester. The agreement can be renegotiated throughout the year; however, violating the terms of this agreement may result in reassignment to another room or residence hall. If you have any questions about the roommate agreement, please see your Resident Assistant.

Each student possesses the following rights as a roommate and each individual should work at honoring these rights. These rights and responsibilities apply not only to roommates, but also to other students living on the floor. It is your right to:

• Read, study, and sleep in the room with as little disturbance as possible
• Have personal belongings which are used by no one else
• Live in a clean and orderly room
• Enter the room whenever one wants, unless other provisions are agreed upon by both parties
• Have guests, provided they respect the rights of the roommate and follow the Guest Policy
• Be free of physical or emotional harassment
• Speak out openly
• Be treated considerately and thoughtfully
• Address problems and concerns in a mature manner
• Expect enforcement of residence hall and University policies

Suggestions for Being a Considerate Roommate

• When you and your roommate experience problems, talk openly about concerns instead of letting the issues frustrate you
• Consider what types of personal habits you have which may be irritating to others
• Ask your roommate to tell you when you have said or done something that caused irritation

Topics to Discuss with Your Roommate

• How to address a conflict
• Personal property versus communal/shared property
• Borrowing each others’ items
• Who shall be financially responsible if items are broken or lost?
• The water cooler or contract for it
• Phone calls (how long, how late, what to share re: "roommate is out," messages, etc.)
• Messages from friends, family, classmates, etc.
• Guests or visitation hours
• Cleaning responsibilities
• Locking the door
• Trash
• Temperature
• Studying or quiet time
• Sleeping
• Socializing in your room

Conflict Management

• Build relationships and be approachable
• Develop an understanding and appreciation of others’ roles and responsibilities
• Listen with understanding and value all opinions
• Understand the facts and challenge preconceived assumptions
• Identify and understand the issues surrounding the conflict
• Separate the issue from the person/personality
• Take risks – be assertive and step out of our comfort zone
• Communicate one-on-one, face-to-face
• Speak directly and privately to the parties involved
• Achieve mutual resolution